I've been a real bitch lately. More so than usual. I'm also being selfish, and I realize that. I want more than I'm allowed to have. I'm jealous. I'm angry that someone who represents me can find something I feel like I'll never have. I feel unimportant. I feel like you pity me or something. I hate you. But I don't. Seeing you hurts. Not seeing you does too. I can't stand your apparent indifference, even though it's the same kind I display. I don't understand your actions, or my own for that matter. I'm afraid to lose you, especially in the way I lost the last person I was this close to. I'm scared and confused and completely at a loss for what I should do at this point, and I have no way of expressing this to you because I'm so damn bad at talking through things. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I'm trying to say, either.

And lastly, I don't care how weird this sounds.

Ja ne.