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What *ARE* you talking about?!
People I tolorate:
~Roalee
~Ra-chan
~My sister
~Shannon
Site Specific:
~Today
~Yesteryear
~Lil' Bit About Me
~Say That You Love Me...
-My Japanese-obsessive survey!
Miscellaneous:
Rings I Belong to:
MY Diaryring!
At last! My very own layout!
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It's been a hard week. A VERY VERY hard week.I should have written this a while ago, but I haven't really been in the mood to express my feelings... The first thing I should say is that our beloved cat Sydney has passed away. It seems like a lot of people thing it hasn't been as affected by this as others are. There are many reasons for this, but the short answer is it's devastating. I've been trying so hard to act like I'm fine, like I've gotten it all out of my system...but all I've done is just bottle everything up like I used to do. I've got no outlet, no one to listen to me when I feel like venting. I miss Sydney so much, and it's so hard to cope with coming home to an 'empty house' so to speak. Which is why I'm so anxious to get another kitten, something to attempt to fill some of this gaping hole that seems to have formed. Sydney will NEVER be replaced. She was the perfect kitty. She was our baby. Nothing will ever change that. As if that weren't enough, work's been hell lately. We're short staffed. People call in sick, leaving me to close the store alone. The only night front cashiers we have must leave at 9. That is NOT FAIR. Not during the holidays. The other night I did not leave the store until midnight. I had to close alone the night before an expected visit. That night for the first time I TRULY thought about leaving Walgreens. If things don't shape up soon I'll have to seriously consider leaving and getting one of the damn day jobs I hate so much... Being alone at night is driving me insane. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a selfish bitch. I don't give a shit. Maybe being alone doesn't matter to any of you, and maybe that's because you're NOT alone, but it matters to me. I'm desperately afraid of being abandoned by the people I care about. Every personal relationship I've ever had ends with me being hurt or left behind. Maybe it's my fault, maybe it isn't. But for the first time in a long time I've got people I'm really attached to. So I guess I'm clingy. Whatever. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm so incredibly frustrated right now. I know I've gotten intolerable again. I'm about ready to crack. Something better happen soon to lessen the stress or I'm just not gonna be able to handle it anymore. I'm gonna go lie down. Ja ne.
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