"Oh, your sister has her license and is going to college? What have you been doing?"

"Working." A.K.A. I have done nothing with my life, ya jerks. -.- It doesn't MATTER that I have an apartment and support myself, no. What matters is wasting your time and money on schooling that you truly have no interest in, but feel an obligation to go to because the rest the fucking world says you do.

If you can't tell by now, the events of the past month have embittered me somewhat. Everything is changing so drastically, and I'm stuck in the middle of it all going absolutely nowhere. My relationships with every important person in my life are kind of rocky, and it's completely and totally my fault. I've been having trouble coping with dealing with people on any kind of personal level. This is a good (or rather, obvious) indicator that I REALLY need to be back on meds, but I just can't afford to. And I just found out my cousin Vince is getting engaged to some girl in India, and is doing it willingly?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

I discovered I actually LIKE being a cosmetician (despite the fact that I don't wear any makeup other than nail polish, I really do enjoy selling it to people.) But then, I discover that I'm not doing a good enough job at it! And THEN when I make a conscious effort to do better, I found out today that I STILL suck at it! The thought that I am INCAPABLE of doing something is devastating to me. I can deal with not doing something because I don't want to, but I can't deal with not being good enough to do something I like to do. I'm burnt out on the fanfic, on friends, on people, on work, on life itself.

Thank GOD I'm going on vacation next week. I'm going to spend the entire time not thinking about the fact that I really, really can't afford it.

One saving grace was Brendan's visit last week. I really did have fun, even though at times it might not have seemed like it. (Sorry if I came off kinda bitchy sometimes, B-kun!) Visiting him should be a blast! Now if only I could get Scat-chan to start getting ready for the trip...^_^;

Well...what else? Dad's in India for a month. He's bringing me back a cool outfit, or something. I've been watching more anime! Yay for anime...I wish I could buy more. But that will have to wait until after vacation and after I pay back all the people I owe money to. For someone with no credit, I sure do accumulate a lot of debt...I suppose that's what I get. Just another of my little inadequacies. Oh well. There's more I wanna talk about, but I'm feeling too lazy to type anymore about it. Maybe tomorrow, if I feel like it. Right now, it's time for....ice cream therapy! Ja ne.