It's funny how my presence is causing more havoc now that I don't work there than it did when I was an employee. Everything's gone all to hell, and no matter how much people have been trying to convince me otherwise the fact of the matter is that none of this would have come up if I weren't here. =/ It's kind of a hard thing to deal with. Especially since all I can do is sit here and watch it happen. There's nothing more infuriating than that.

Maybe THAT's what's fueling this bitterness...

I while back I mentioned an interesting concept I had seen on one of the mindless TV shows I happened to see: state, in one word, the thing you want most in life. It was something I couldn't answer at the time. But I think that finally, an answer's come to me. What I want most in life is satisfaction. For even just one day in my life, I want to feel completely satisfied. Satisfied with my work, my relationships, my emotions, myself. If I have ever been satisfied, I don't remember it. So I suppose that is my one goal to shoot for.

That and watching more of my anime collection before the con next month...and finish the costumes, and my novel, and pay all my bills...@_@

What was that about being satisfied, again...?

Ja ne.