So, I haven't written in a week. It's been a shitty week anyway. I'm so worried about so many things, and still depressed, and I think my lack of meds is really starting to take its toll on me. I hope the medical insurance kicks in soon. @_@ I also hope I will be considered for a raise soon, because I'm tired of feeling worried about money...I owe so much. I'm glad the people in my life are so understanding, but it still bugs me. Not to mention trying to break my compulsive spending habits...I'm used to being able to afford buying a lot more personal stuff. But, if I want any money for the convention I will REALLY have to save...if that's possible, given my current debts.

I need to start considering costumes for the con! I wanna do different onces for each day. ^_^ It's too bad I have so much other stuff to do as well. Clean this mess of an apartment, finish my novel, work on the fanfic (both online and off) do my laundry, pay a bill I can't afford till Friday, and after THOSE bills I won't have anything left again...I feel so burnt out on everything that I have gotten NOTHING accomplished!

Work is the main stress factor right now though. Or rather, it initiates everything I'm stressed about. My favorite manager is gone, making me depressed and worried that other people in my life are going to disappear too. (Yes, this is what happens to me when I start to like people.) I keep getting stuck with the damn Valentine's Day isle, and THAT's no good for my mind...I keep getting stuck with six work days in a row, then having a day off between the two I get in one week....it's really hard on me, although I'm too much of a pushover to complain about it to anyone who can help me. And even with all that, I'm getting nowhere finanically. Because I'm too stupid and too lazy to get myself a REAL job. No, I'm not bitter, really.

Oh yeah. And I was told by someone yesterday not to call unless I had something to say. Making me feel oh so much better about my life. Something else I'll bear in mind for a while.

I gotta get back to cleaning. The only reason I ever do it is to distract me from my ill feelings. And here I thought diaries were supposed to be therapudic..Ja ne.