Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could leave
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, just mad
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

--I Feel So - Boxcar Racer

Yep, that about sums it up.

I've done a lot of thinking these past couple days. I think the best way to get past the thing that's holding me down is to just say it. But...not aloud. And not here, perse. So I'm going to try something. I've actually written it out, and posted it somewhere. I believe I've hidden it pretty well, but nonetheless I think it's somewhere it has the potential to be found. I'm hoping that this is close enough to a real confession. Hopefully this will allow me to get back some sense of normalcy, even if it's only in my mind.

The only other thing I have to say about this is: if someone, ANYONE, happens across this document, I don't want to hear a word about it. I don't feel like explaining myself, nor do I feel I should have to, and if anyone approaches me about it I'll ignore them by all means necissary. It's a sensitive subject for me, and I'm very serious about this.

Okay! ^_^ Now that that's out of the way...I have done a whole lot of nothing again. I made dinner once again, although today was entirely imrovised. I made a brownie thing from hershey's syrup and peanut butter, and a pizza from bisquick and string cheese. ^_^; Making up recipes runs in the family. I think I'm fairly good at it. I still can't believe Roalee burnt ramen noodles..

Tomorrow, I may go send out some of the applications I have. Or Wednesday. I'm just no nervous about it. I'm terrible at doing things on my own. For someone who hates poeple I sure am dependant on them....=/

So, back to working on Yoru's history again. I really have to get it done! Ja byebye.