Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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Surprised? I'm not. You shouldn't be either.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a bad person.

Yeah, I say that all the time, right? I feel that way more and more lately. I'm bitchy for no reason and blow up over stupid shit. Although I feel somewhat more calmed now; yesterday evening I wrote about half a page on my feelings. My absolute and honest feelings. They aren't very nice, nor are they sane. I did it without thinking, and made some revelations about some of the people I associate with. No one will ever see this document, however. I'm not bold enough for that. But it does make me think that if I opt to go to the doctor again, I might just bring it with me. But enough about that...

On all accounts, it has been a very interesting week. Brenden is in town from Cali, and I'm happy to see him. What I didn't know is that we were having a party for him at Red Robin. Molina and him were trying to have a drinking contest, but no one really got drunk. ^_^ I had a couple drinks myself, and though I was really feeling the buzz last night, I have no after effects today. Woohoo!

We watched lots of movies he brought today and yesterday. I've seen the whole first season of Red Dwarf (which is HILARIOUS!), Nightmare on Elm Street, Legend, Hardware wars, and Top Secret. I think Legend impressed me most. I love the art.

Today has probably been the most interesting day OF the week. we took Brendan to his dentist, Took Roalee's brother home, and Roalee and I went to Jeremy's shop! I bought a buncha stuff I shouldn't have, we picked up a pizza, and picked up Brenden about an hour late. ^_^;; whoops! Then Brenden went out with his friends, and came home drunk! Whoo boy...it's not a pretty sight. Roalee says it's just another reason why alcohol is bad, but I think it's just a matter of knowing your limits. I wanted a daquiri cooler today, but I shouldn't because I drank yesterday. And I refuse to get in the habit of it.

I'm feeling a bit meloncholy at the moment. Moises came home...and Ra-chan was with him. So instead of sitting here and continuing to watch the show I was watching, I ran and hid in my damn room. I could kick myself for allowing myself to be disrupted just because she was here. But in all honesty, I can't deal with seeing her. I actually realized something while I was hiding. Even though I don't WANT to see her, I'm still clinging. I actually ended up buying something for her today. I bought something for a person I refuse to see in real life. I'm just full of contradictions, aren't I?

I think I've discovered the reason I'm so stressed recently. It's because there's one certain thing I still haven't been able to cope with. And it's something I haven't told anyone, although I sometimes wonder if some of them have figured it out on their own. But my inability to deal with those feelings is the sole root of my problems. ALL of my problems. In addition to that, it makes me feel...wrong. I don't think it's something I SHOULD be thinking. No matter how much I think it's wrong, this thing just won't go away. If I could come to terms with it, or at least simply admit it, I'm sure I'd feel much better. But instead, I have to keep it entirely to myself. Because no one would understand. And I don't even want to tempt fate.

In any case...I'm watching the second series of Red Dwarf now. Company is gone, and I have returned to the living room. That's all for now. Ja ne!