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What *ARE* you talking about?!
People I tolorate:
~Roalee
~Ra-chan
~My sister
~Shannon
Site Specific:
~Today
~Yesteryear
~Lil' Bit About Me
~Say That You Love Me...
-My Japanese-obsessive survey!
Miscellaneous:
Rings I Belong to:
MY Diaryring!
At last! My very own layout!
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I guess I haven't written in a while, but in all honesty I haven't felt up to it. Things are getting bad. Somehow the district manager discovered that 3 managers at our theatre are living togethere, and has Desiree questioning all the managers. I told her it was none of her business, and are they able to ask you things about your personal life..? She didn't have an answer for that. Moises admitted to it though, but did not say who he was living with, although I'm sure that from Roalee and my answers she can piece it together. Moises has volunteered to transfer to the Crossroads if need be, and since Roalee is the first assistant, I will probably be the other one to leave. The problem is, I'm not sure how to get anywhere else. We moved into this specific complex for convenience, you know. If I have to leave...I just can't imagine working at another theater, to be honest. The only option I see is for me to simply resign. And if I do so, what then? Where will I work? How will I pay my bills? I'm scared, angry, and incredibly depressed all at once. I'm upset to the point that all I want to do is sleep, but sleep is uneasy. There hasn't been a time where I feel that I need someone more, but...who can I talk to? The only other people I associate with are having the same problem, and I get the impression that they're not quite sure how to cope either. You can't get much reassurance from people with the same concerns... I've done a lot of dumb things the past couple days. The others had to work on Tuesday, when I found out that Moises was going to tell her, and I was so depressed that I did something I would otherwise never think of doing. I called a guy I hadn't talked to in many years. That was probably one of the most awkward conversations I ever had. I didn't really talk about the problem, just asked how he was doing, what was going on in his life...small talk like that. I imagine he felt much the same as I did when someone called me after years of no contact. After the short conversation, I actually felt worse. I feel pathetic that I have no one to turn to. In addition to that, I actually joined one of those dating service things...-.-; Does that sound truly sad or what? But this one is a bit different; it's for anime otaku. Which is perfect for me, ne? And even if I don't meet someone I can bond with, there are at least people in the forums I can become friends with. The people there seem nice. Just anyone to talk to would be a great improvement. I've been keeping myself very busy these past few days I've been off. I did a LOT of cleaning, and finished painting, then put up some artwork on the walls. I did laundry, played with the cat...anything to keep my mind off the bad things in my life. I need things to improve. I need them to get better now. Or else I'll end up doing something regrettable when no one's looking... On a lighter note...hell, there is no lighter note. I should try to sleep, I have work in the morning. Ja.
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