I've been trying my damndest to perk up, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Things keep coming up that bring me down. Little things, like the cat ignoring me unless I don't want her attention, to big things, like an employee accusing me of mistreating her.

To be honest, the mistreating thing hurts me very deeply. I know it isn't true, and that this person is probably being vindictive because I wouldn't let her get away with staying home without a doctor's note, But I can't help the pain it's causing me. One thing I've always prided myself on, since I became a manager, is that I don't treat anyone differently than anyone else, on a professional level. I mean, some of the employees I have conversations with more than others, but some of them I have known for years. Hell, some of them I worked with when I was just a regular employee, and a couple I even trained myself! You can't just stop being friends with those people when you gain a new status. All you have to do is make sure that it doesn't interfere with business.

I really don't know how I should deal with it. Perhaps I'll simply ignore it for the time being, and this feeling will go away...

Among the other things that are bothering me is the fact that none of my writing projects are going anywhere. Ra-chan sent out a new part of our fanfic, and I can't even complete either of the two I'm working on. I watched Alex and Emma this week, and though it was kind of funny it served as an all-too-clear reminder than I have yet to complete my own novel. I wish I could find the motivation to buckle down and do these things. But right now, I'm not feeing much motivation to do anything.

I've taken up another bad habit: talking to myself. I mean, I talked to myself before, but not like this. Not this much. It's like I start having conversations with myself, and it's kinf of weird when I stop long enough to think about it. This really isn't the way to cope with my lonliness. Nothing seems to keep my mind off things for more than a few minutes. I wonder if getting myself involved in an online community would help me any...

Wow, that was a lot I've said for originally thinking I had nothing to say! I wish my phone would ring. I wish anyone would talk to me right now. It's pretty sad when I become bored with MYSELF. Ja ne