The one thing he asked that kinda bothered me was whether or not there was one specific thing that had triggered my depression. I had to think about it. My findings? There was nothing. There hasn't been anything in my life that should have triggered a bout of depression. As a matter of fact, when I think about it, life hasn't been particularly hard on me, has it? The worst things that have happened to me are my parent's organized divorce and the fact that people didn't really like me much in school. Yay. Thinking about what an uneventful life I have had has, in turn, made me feel worse about the way I feel about my life. My life's been a cake walk compared to the lives of the people I know and I have the audacity to feel this bad about myself?!

Maybe it IS a good thing I'm back on the meds.

Meanwhile, the thought that I'm never going to get back the thing I lost. In a matter of speaking, I've become obsolete. Which I suppose is my own fault. But the problem is, I still have to see her each week, which just makes me bitter and hate myself even more. Maybe the reason I CAN'T have it back is because I can't find it in myself to get over it. It's incredibly hard for me to forgive people. It doesn't help that people keep harping me about I'm doing and not doing.

It might be a REALLY good thing I went back on the meds.

Ja ne.