As an event, Sakura-con was simply amazing. When we first got there on Friday, I was in absolute awe at some of the costumes! The amount of detail people put into them is incredible. And the way some people find to make it work...I wish I had that amount of creativity. I'm glad I brought a camera! Although I didn't get all the pictures I wanted, because at first I was too shy to approach people to ask them to pose for me. So I missed a really great Vash, an awesome Sesshoumaru, A really great D and the only Kuja I'd seen at the con. Damn. Oh well.

We won't discuss the giant tentacle, thank you.

After that we wandered around looking at various things. We looked into a couple of the rooms that were showing anime all day, but at that point we didn't really stick around to see any of it. Next was the dealer's room, which I was really happy about because one of the Sakuras told me I could get a Sasuke plushie there!! Oh, Sasuke...so I got one! THE LAST ONE!! WAHAHAHA! ^_^ Kakashi plushies were LONG gone, though. Sadness. It doesn't surprise me, since he appears to be the most popular Naruto character. But I have Sasuke and Iruka, so I'm doing okay. ^_^:;

What else from the dealers room...? I got several pins, including one of Sesshoumaru (yay!!), a couple yaoi doujinshi (including a VERY nice one of Taikoubou and Youzen...@_@ yum.), the first Alice 19th manga, a Yu Yu Hakusho wallpaper I'd been looking for FOREVER, Yami no Matsuei and Weiss pencilboards, and a really really awesome weiss official poster. I'm broke now. @_@

The Artists alley was really great as well. I bought several prints there. ^_^;; I wish I'd had more money to spend on art, or I would have bought one of SilverTales' pieces from the gallery! Roalee got one, I'm so jealous... Anyway, I met this wonderful fanartist who likes yaoi. ^_^ Yeah. I got a few of her prints too, including this great one of Tasuki and Chichiri. Her stuff is gorgeous. I hope I can get more of it at some point.

We got tickets to the Anime Music Video show! ^_^ It was so good! Although, my favorite part was the beginning, which featured Sumomo dancing to some funky music. Fun on a stick.

After all that we went to watch some anime. I finally got to see Princess Mononoke. Isn't it sad that a huge otaku hasn't even seen the classics? ^_^;; It was a really great movie. The Kodamas were so cute! I also got to see a little more of Full Moon o Sagashite. ^_^ Yay, Meroko and Takuto! We went home fairly late...and woke up late the next morning. Oops.

Waking up late might not have been so bad if we didn't still have to get into costume! Augh! We ended up getting there around 11, so the tickets for the cosplay show were gone. Dammit! But later they randomly had more! @_@ So we ended up getting them anyway. The show was hella funny. The Harry Potter anime crossover was hilarious, and I loved the Shinra Sexiest bishounen competition because it had Sephiroth, who had killed all the other contestants beforehand and then proceeded to act sexy on the stage. @_@ I was kinda hesitant to ask the Sephie for a pic afterwords for some reason. Maybe it was because I was in my Nezumi costume...? ^_^;; I finally got up the nerve to do it, and just as I took the pic Roalee goes, "By the way, she loves you!" GAH!! I was about ready to kill her! *blushblush*

There was, believe it or not, an anime DANCE afterwords! It was so much fun. I even danced. ^_^;; All by myself. To be honest, I was kinda sad. There's nothing more lonely than dancing alone in the room full of people who have friends to dance with. -.-; Nonetheless, I had fun dancing and listening to the music.

The rest of the evening, quite literally, was spent watching anime in the 24 hour rooms. Nope, didn't go home at all. But there was so much fun stuff on! We watched Kiddy Grade, Witch Hunter Robin, Rune Soldier Louie, Tokyo Underground, I My Me! Strawberry Eggs, Hellsing, and an ep of Wolf's Rain. I love them all! Granted, I had seen a couple of them before, but watching them again was cool. Although I was dead tired afterwords...

We pretty much watched anime up until the closing ceremonies. There were Japanese drummers preforming. Damn, my arms were getting tired just watching them! It was so good, though. It might have been better if I hadn't been so sleep deprived.

As soon as we got back to Roalee's I went to sleep. I woke up around 2. Oops. I told my family I would be home tonight. I guess I had better make that tomorrow. ^_^;;

And now..for the bad part.

I was a real bitch at the con. Even Roalee snapped at me for it. And, I was fully aware of the fact that I was being a bitch. Although I am sorry I made things unpleasant for the others, I can't really apologize for acting the way I did. I can't help the way I feel, and likewise, I can't help acting the way I feel. I've been trying to deal with my emotions as they arise, so I don't keep them bottled up and save them for later, which normally has very negative consequences. My way of dealing with hurt or sadness is to get angry instead, and afterwords withdraw into my own little shell.

And this weekend, I felt very, very hurt.

It's a painful feeling to have in the first place, but when you get these feelings from the only person you really trust it's almost crushing. Like someone broke your heart. I guess in a way it's the same thing.

Things had been sort of strained between us lately to begin with. I don't know what started it, really, but she would get irritated with me over the stupidest things. I, in turn, would get irritated as well. The whole week has been like that. I don't understand at all what brought this on. To my knowledge, I haven't been any different than normal up to this point...I don't think. Then again, other people have been annoyed with me too...-.-;

Anyways...despite what the others think, my problem WASN'T that Ra-chan's family was there. It's true I don't like very many people, and I'm not particularly comfortable around them, but I think I could have tolerated it. My problem...

When Ra-chan decided to invite her family to the con as well, I told her specifically that I didn't feel comfortable hanging out with them the whole time. So she told me we'd just hang out with them a little and then go on our own way. I had this feeling it wouldn't work out that way. And it didn't. We DID only hang out with her family some of the time...but when it came time for her family to leave, so did she. Every decision she made about what to do at the con revolved around what her family was doing. She didn't even stay with us as she'd originally planned. I barely saw her the whole weekend. THAT is what hurt so much. It feels almost like being betrayed, but I know it isn't. It's like someone broke your heart. In a way, it's the same thing.

I understand that she loves her family, and I think it's nice that she has a one she can get along with so well. I envy her in some ways. But it really upsets me that I wanted to set up something for us all to hang out together and she didn't want to be with us. She didn't seem to care that it upset me, either. I couldn't even confront her about it. And honestly...I don't know if I'll be able to forget about it, either. I suppose we shall see.

Back to watching Gasaraki, I guess. Highly confusing. Ja.