Today was one of those days where I really hated my job, and as a result I hated myself. -.-; It started well...I got called in early so Tracey could do some running around. I didn't mind, because it meant more hours for me. I also didn't mind because there were certain people there for me to talk to..

Ryan brought his Shuriken to work today. ^_^ I guess, as a manager I should have taken them away from him, but I decided against it.

So, I'm just going to come out and say it. I...have a crush on Ryan. I know, I shouldn't, for many reason. Everyone who knows says I should forget about it since I'm a manager. And they're right, I should forget about him. But not because I'm a manager. It's because I don't have a snowball's chance in hell. ^_^;

Actually...that fact hurts so much. That's what always happens when I find someone I'm interested in. In a worst-case scenario, they'll continue to be my friend after they find out purely out of pity. I despise pity. -.- I don't want sympathy from anyone. I hope to God that's not what's happening in my current situation. I would just die. He's someone that I would like to continue being friends with; it's hard to find people I naturally get along with...

^_^; Oh, wow, that was a tangent! Anyway, these past two days have been horrible! I got yelled at by Desiree last night for so much stupid stuff I felt like whipping out one of the shuriken Ryan left that night and slitting my wrist... O.o Um, yeah, I know, bad idea, but it was one of those fleeting thoughts... ::hopes she didn't write herself into a corner::

It didn't get much better after that. I was so upset about it that it took me forever to finish my work after she left, and when I finally finished I stayed help move the prints for Friday and then I screened Reign of Fire. That was a spectacular movie, by the way, and well worth seeing. But by the time the movie ended, it was 6 AM. ^_^;;; I had to work at 10 AM. So, I slept at the theatre. I ended up taking a two hour nap, my head on the desk, rested on a stack of towels. I was woken at 8:30 when Tracey came in to set up the promotion. Grr. I sleepwalked through until about 11, when Tracey was nice enough to buy me a Frappuccino. Ah, the joys of caffeine...

That was about enough to get me though the day. Today was fun, kinda. The promotion went well, and we raised 175 dollars for charity. I spent my last 2 dollars trying to get a stuffie crocodile. ^_^ I got one! He's so cute! He still needs a name.

For some reason, my day went completely downhill when Ryan got there. I don't know what it was about him being there, but I got terribly upset. -.-; Perhaps it's seeing him with Tessa...why can't a just be one of those people who doesn't appear to care?! Why can't I just pretend it doesn't exist and go on with my day? Anyway, I was REALLY upset for the rest of my shift, and everyone noticed. When they asked me what was wrong I just said I was fine. I'm sure they didn't believe me, but most of them seemed to just write it off as me being tired. Maybe I should just apply for my vacation ASAP. Maybe I need time away from all of them to put everything in perspective...