Having lost something I considered most precious to me, I've ran through the first four steps of the cycle a few times in the past couple months. I did a lot of thinking about what my father said. And then I made the mistake of reading diary entries before work today, where I had plenty of time in booth to seethe over what was said. During the middle of the first set I come to the conclusion that I finally reached the last stage of my coping.

Complete and total apathy.

What I am about to say is going to make me sound like some kind of heartless creature. When I think about what it is I feel, I sound like that to myself as well. Maybe I am, ne? But I've never been known as a nice person, and I have nothing more to lose, so here goes:

Ra-chan...you're a selfish bitch. Your whole "Woe is me" attitude lately has been annoying in itself, but when you make the conscious decision to abandon your friends because you can't cope with things it crosses the line. Get over yourself. You're not the only one with shit to deal with. We may not understand EXACTLY what you feel, but who DOES understand anyone else's problems completely? If you're willing to throw away the people who love you just so you can continue to wallow in your self-pity, then you were right to begin with. You don't deserve any of us as friends.

And that, everyone, is the last I have to say about THAT. Ja.