I barely managed to make it through work without breaking down completely. I started crying on the car ride home, though I tried in vain to hide it. When I got inside the house, I lost it. -.- Followed by a state of numbness. Roalee told me to go to sleep right away, but I think I need to get this out of my system before I do...

I think it began on Sunday night. We were understaffed, and it was hectic. Then at the end of the night, it turned out that the day staff had messed up stuff so badly that most of the night was spent figuring it out. I was angered at the daystaff...grr.

Monday night went well, up until the end. I guess the day had been busy, and some things happened that I will not discuss here, but happily it may turn out to be the straw that breaks our stupid GMs back. Stuff was messed up Monday, as well. Desiree claimed that she spent "7 hours on her day off" making the stupid employee schedule, almost everyone was scheduled for things they were unable to work, so Roalee spent the night fixing it. MY schedule was NOT what I wanted it to be. I work on Wednesday, when I requested not to, and I STILL don't know how I'm going to get there. If worse comes to worse I'll have to go in at 9 AM, and not leave until that fucking movie is previewed...on top of that, I only have one day off this week, but still only work 40 hours. That is LUDACRIS. I would be alright with working 6 days if there was something more in it for me, but there isn't. On top of that, the money was messed up, and we ended up closing the day with box far shorter than it should have been. Desiree was the main cause of the shortage. Incompentent fuck.

Today was...lots of little things grating on the last reserves of my sanity. Employees complained about stupid things. I was hungry and my dinner ended up being something I couldn't eat. My safe ended up over a few bucks, and I still can't figure out why. Again, NO IDEA how I'm getting to work in the morning. Every one went off to Barnes and I was left at the theater alone. I'm sure I wound up annoying the hell out of Roalee with my snapping at insignificant things the entire day.

And then, on top of evrything else, one thing set me off entirely: A comment made by Desiree. None of the staff knew why the rope barriers were all out so far, so I assumed they had been moved by one of the staff messing around. So I had David move it back. Des came out and asked who moved it back, and I said that I told David to. She said something about she had been moving them for some thing, blah blah blah, toned her out then cause I didn't care. They were practically in the middle of the lobby. And, when she came back from Barnes, she said complained that "the one time someone feels industrious to do something it's when she was working on it." Or something like that. Basically saying that no one feels like fixing something unless she's trying to do something with it.

I NEARLY LOST IT THEN. I made the decision to go on my break then, because if I had stayed in her presence any longer I would have yelled at her, and that would have been bad. But honest to God, with all the stuff that's happened, and most of it being her fault, I don't know if I can deal with this any more. I need my job, but I think maybe my mental health is a bit more important. I wonder if I can hold out until my second week of vacation comes up. If not, say bye bye. But I'm scared. I haven't felt this low in a long, long while.

I feel that the numbness is beginning to wear off, and so I should be off to bed now. Hopefully the next time I write it will be under better conditions. Oyasumi. Ja ne.